We’ve all been there: a bad day at work, a nasty commute home, mistakes that could have been avoided; a bad day that simmer and simmers until it finally boils over. But for parents, the guilt that follows can sometimes be worse than the actual events of the day. Here are four ways you can help your family heal after a bad day.
This one is simple, but can be hard for a lot of folks because it was never modeled for them by their parents: apologize. A sincere apology can go a really long way in rebuilding trust after it’s taken a hit. I like to include an explanation for my behavior when I apologize, not as an excuse, but so my little one knows that what happened was my fault and unrelated to them. Even if your kids are too young to really understand everything you’re saying, they will get your message if it’s loving and kind and they will find it easier to follow your lead and apologize to others as they grow up.
Talk about what happened; did you lose your temper after a long day at work? have you reached your limit after a long week of fighting between your kids? talk to your child (in an age appropriate way) about what’s going on with you that caused you to have a difficult day. They probably won’t understand the details but they’ll understand that they are important to you and that you care enough about them to explain what’s going on to them. This can help to build a foundation of mutual honesty and respect that will be crucial as your child gets older.
Spend some quality time together; If you’re both up for it, and there’s enough time left in your day, take 15 or 20 minutes and play together, read a book, dance it out, color a picture, or any other engaging activity they chose. IT doesn’t matter what it is, as long as your engaged and spending time together.
Give yourself some time, space and grace! The best thing you can do for yourself after a long day, is give yourself a break. Chances are, your frustration escalated because you didn’t give yourself one sooner. One of the most important things I’ve learned is that the structure of my household falls apart completely when I’m struggling physically or emotionally, so I need to prioritize taking care of myself so that im physically able to care for my family. That means, resting when my body needs rest, finding a healthy outlet for the natural stressors of everyday life, and being kind to myself when i make mistakes. Forgiveness can be hard for me, so if you struggle with it too, challenge yourself to identify where you went wrong and what you will do differently going forward. If you have a plan for how to better deal with your emotions going forward, it becomes easier to accept that mistakes, accidents, bad days will happen to everyone and don’t define who we are in the long run.
I hope these tips work for you and your family, and please share any helpful insights in the comments, and as always, Keep Healing, Keep Blooming.
Before I start, I just want to say, the most important part of bath time is constant supervision. NEVER LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THE BATH FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME.
I don’t know about your kids but my little one loves bath time. Since he’s started talking more, he’s been saying “just wait” every time I try to take him out. I usually let him stay in at least a minute more whenever he asks because I really want him to have positive memories of bath time. Baths are an important part of a babies development: it teaches them life skills for hygiene, respect for water, it’s an immersive sensory experience and it’s a time for them to learn about their bodies. Bath’s – especially salt baths – are just also important for adults, with the magnesium absorbed during a salt bath playing a key role in proper muscle function. Baths are great for all ages, and making them a habit while our kids are little improves the chances that they’ll continue the practice throughout their life.
Here are a few things we use in our house to make bath time a special experience:
Laguna Moon Organic Bath Bombs & Color Drops
When little bear was younger, he did not enjoy bath bombs. Something about the fizziness I think. But I still wanted him to have the experience of a colorful bath, so I was really glad when i found bath color drops. They go by a variety of names and can be found everywhere from the Target dollar section to Amazon (See the affiliate links throughout). They worked for us because they’re less stimulating than bath bombs with their fizzing, noises, bright colors and unusual texture, which can be a lot on the sense. Bath drops are small pellets that dissolve slowly, tinting the water as they go. Linked are the Lagunamoon organic bath bombs which we we love. They’re very bright, fragrant and do leave your skin very smooth, so they might not be for everyone. And just for fun, there’s a little surprise at the center of every bath bomb.
Dr Teal's Kids Elderberry & Vitamin C Salt Soak
Salt baths not only feel amazing but they help our muscles by soaking them in magnesium, an essential nutrient for healthy muscle function, and a by product of salt dissolved in water. Kids get sore and tense muscles too, it’s just a little harder for them to express it. Creating a regular salt bath routine can help to keep their muscles from getting overworked, fatigued or tight.
Lavender & Chamomile Essential Oils
Add lavender and chamomile essential oil to your little one's baths and to jammies before bed. Both lavander and chamomile have a calming effect and are the basis for most sleep or dream essential oil blends sold in stores and online. both great for helping little ones to relax and get cozy before bed, making it easier for them to fall asleep.
Projection lights have become very popular, particularly during the pandemic when people took more of an interest in creating unique living spaces, and because they can be very relaxing and basically the whole world could use some help with that right about now. If you haven't seen one in action, get ready to be amazed. (after you click one of them Amazon links and watch the video demonstrations, especially the second light) Basically, they're little projectors that can cast different light patterns across the walls and ceiling of the entire room. The colors are beautiful and the rotating patterns are hypnotic without being dizzying. I've never met anyone who didn't enjoy the atmosphere created by one of these little things, so prepare to want one for every room of your house.
That's all for now! let me know what bath time items you use in your house and as always, let me know your thoughts if you try any of the products I recommended here.
You may have seen this colorful sensory activity on instagram or Pinterest; buckets full of bright blue rice and aquatic toys. Or bright green rice with tiny plants and jungle creatures. These fun and whimsical worlds are actually extremely educational and beneficial to your little one’s development! Their base is made of dyed rice and provides unlimited opportunities for your little one to develop their fine motor skills as well as engage in sensory play. And we’re gonna show you how easy and fun it is to make! Skip to the end to find out how sensory rice may be beneficial to you too, mama!
But first, what is sensory play and why is it important? Great question! Our senses are how we intake information about the world around us and learn to navigate it. We are born with these senses, but we must learn how they work and how to use them. Sensory play involves activities that stimulate your little one’s senses (sight, sound, taste, touch, smell and movement) and increase their threshold for sensory stimulation, essentially making their senses sharper. Sensory play encourages exploration and that exploration helps build nerve connections throughout the brain. These new connections allow your little one to take on more complex tasks and promote cognitive, motor skill, language and problem solving development, which is another way of saying this type of play actually makes your baby smarter (1).
Ok, now it’s time for the fun part. This process is super simple and all the ingredients are probably already in your cupboard somewhere.
What You Need:
Dry rice
Food coloring
Vinegar
Sandwich bags
What You Do:
Fill your bag with ½ – 1 full cup of rice
In a separate cup, pour in ½ tablespoon or less of vinegar
Add a few drops of food coloring to your cup of vinegar
Swirl the dye mixture around to make sure the vinegar and food coloring fully mix together
Dump your dye mixture into the bag of rice
Now the fun part! Zip your bag closed and squish it up. Make sure the dye works its way through the bag and touches all the rice. It will pool in the bottom of the bag and form pockets so make sure you mix and squish it enough to cover all the rice in dye.
Let the dye soaked rice sit in the bag for a little bit, rotating it every 20 minutes or so to make sure the rice is evenly colored.
After an hour or two, most of the food coloring mix will have been soaked up or evaporated off. Pour the now brightly colored rice into a bowl and place it in the refrigerator to dry the left over vinegar and get rid of the strong smell.
Helpful Hints
You don’t actually have to measure any of the ingredients, eyeballing everything works just as well.
A lot of rice + a little dye = lighter colored rice
A lot of rice + a lot of dye = brighter colored rice
A little rice + a little dye = brightly colored rice
A little rice + a lot of dye = darker colored rice
You can mix food coloring to create new colors just like with paint. If you’re mixing colors, you will need to pay attention to ratios and eyeball your measurements carefully. A bad ratio of colors can turn your rice dark and muddy.
The good news is that, like with paint, you can continue to add one color or another to lighten, darken, or tone your dye mixture. For example, when we made our first batch of purple, we used entirely too much blue. The mixture turned a blue tinted black color, but was able to be toned back down to purple by adding in more red.
When mixing a new color, start with a base of the lighter color and add in the darker color one drop at a time. Colors with deeper pigments will absorb and darken higher concentrations of lighter colors. Think of what happens when you add white to any color of paint. The mixture may lighten slightly, but the white will be completely consumed by the pigment of the original color. The principle applies to food coloring as well.
Brown rice can also be dyed, but produces more jewel toned colors compared to the bright colors created using white rice.
You’ll Love It Too!
If you enjoy working with your hands, and don’t mind a little mess, you’ll probably have some fun making this rice, and might want to consider making an extra batch for yourself!
Remember in inside out, when we’re meeting Riley’s emotions? Joy, ever the optimist, describes Anger as someone who ‘really cares a lot about things being fair’ right before he blows his top over not being able to have dessert. If you, as a mom have never had a moment like this, we…well we wanna know your secret! But if you’re like us, and blow your top from time to time consider keeping a small stash of this pretty rice to play with when you’re feeling agitated. Just a few minutes of ‘playing’ with a manipulative, like a stress ball, zen garden, or a handful or rice, can have intensely calming effects. The process by which we find relief from objects like this, called fidget widgets, is mostly psychological. Our brains intake information in two ways: physically, through our senses, and cognitively, with our mind. Sometimes, when we’re stressed or overwhelmed, it becomes difficult for us to process all the information our bodies are taking in, and we become distracted or unable to focus. When we play with a stress ball the physical distraction allows our brains to slow down and relax, and thus refocus on processing cognitive information or problem solving (2).
These devices can help address anger in a way that is similar to how they address stress. As with any emotion, our bodies produce a cognitive and a physical response. Often, our physical responses are more extreme than our cognitive responses and we have much less control over our physical responses than we do our cognitive, making it reletively easy for our bodies to overpower our minds. Fidget widgets use the same power of distraction, or redirection, to distract our minds from the physical manifestations of anger: sweating, increased heart rate, muscle tension, and shortness of breath (3).
Not only is this colorful rice a fun activity for you and your little one, but it can atually make your little one smarter, and help you be a more relaxed and focused mama! what could be better? Please share with us if you’ve made this fun rice, and tag us on Instagram so we can see all the lovely colors you make!
How are we all doing out there? Are you panic stricken by the CoronaVirus coverage or are you managing to keep it together? Maybe somewhere in between? With all the numbers, speculation and warnings going around, it’s hard to process the information or know what to do next.
Here at Fake Mom, we’re all about being proactive, rather than waiting to be reactive. And the best way to be proactive about contagious viruses or public health outbreaks is to support your immune system so your body is ready should it need to fight off an infection, virus or bacteria. Below are 17 tips for boosting your and your littles one’s immune health along with some tips for sneaking the trickier foods into meals.
There are few things harder than being sick and trying to care for a little one who’s full of energy, so make sure you’re taking good care of yourself too! Grown ups can incorporate any of the items on the list into their lifestyle, while some tips are not suited for small children. Each tip will denote whether or not it is suitable for children
Citrus Fruit rich in vitamin c, which is thought to boost white blood cell production. They’re sweet and juicy flavors tend to make them an easy favorite with little ones, but if you have a picky eater who is texture sensitive, using citrus juices is a great substitute. Processed store bought juices have a lot more sugar than the actual fruit, so if you can’t juice yourself, we recommend watering store bought juice down with at least half as much water as juice. You’re little one will still get the vitamin boost they need without the extra sugar. AGE 6 MONTHS +
Spinach is a triple threat; packed with white blood cell boosting vitamin c, regenerative antioxidants and strengthening beta carotene. Use it in smoothies blended with other fruits and veggies as little ones tend to not be super excited but this plain tasting leafy green. AGE 6 MONTHS +
Ginger, a go to for most cold like symptoms, ginger is a powerful anti-inflammatory and can help fight nausea. Ginger can be used in your littles ones bath but can be quiete strong when it is cooked with. AGE 6 MONTHS +
Garlic for grown ups it’s known for its heart healthy benefits but garlic also contains compounds such as allicin which is known to have immune boosting properties. Garlic is great to use as a flavor enhancer when cooking and is an easy additive to most recipes. AGE 6MONTHS +
Turmeric is an old world remedy for inflammation that has gained popularity in recent years among western lifestyle gurus for its anti-inflammatory and detoxifying properties. Turmeric is great added to smoothies or blended treats for your little one. The flavor is mild enough to be masked by citrus fruits and the bold color will peak your little one’s curiosity. Turmeric can be used to cook with or as an additive in small amounts to fresh smoothies or juices. AGE 6 MONTHS +
Papaya, often an overlooked superfood, have more vitamin c than oranges, are packed with potassium, b vitamins, folate and an anti-inflammatory enzyme called papain. Because of it’s mild taste, papayas are also great for smoothies or juicing when added with other more flavorful fruits and vegetables. AGE 8 MONTHS +
Kiwi are full of folate, potassium, and vitamins k and c. They can be a little sour so if your little one won’t eat one by itself, try adding it into a smoothie. The flavor is mild enough to blend seamlessly with other fruits and veggies. AGE 10 MONTHS +
Water is the key to life and health! Our bodies are 70% and require that we consume clean fresh water to replenish what our bodies use up throughout the day. Watering down any liquid your baby drinks is any easy way to decrease heir sugar intake and increase their water intake. AGE 6 MONTHS +
Sleep is simultaneously the most important and most neglected aspect of our modern life. Proper sleep is essential to a healthy, balanced life, and sleep deprivation is the natural enemy of our body’s immune system, killing the cells in our bodies designed to track down and attack dangerous microbes and cancer cells. ALL AGES
Local Honey. Honey can be tricky because children under 1 can contract botulism from the bacteria found in honey. But after 12 months, their bodies are able to process these bacteria properly and they can benefit from its many useful properties. Honey is a natural antibacterial and contains powerful antioxidant properties shown to lower LDL (read: bad) cholesterol, blood pressure and triglycerides. In children, honey has been found to be as effective as over the counter cough suppressants. The honey acts a barrier, coating the throat and providing relief without the side effects of over the counter meds, which often keep your little one from getting the quality sleep they need to fight off their illness. Adding a bit of honey and lemon to warm water for baby when they’re not feeling good is especially soothing before bed. AGE 12 MONTHS +
Lay off over the counter meds- it may seem counterintuitive but loading your little one up with drugs every time they get the sniffles will actually make them more sick in the long run. As a result of this over medication, bacteria themselves begin to build up an immunity to the treatment. These new, antibacterial resistant strains are harder to fight and a simple ear infection can snowball into a serious infection. ALL AGES
Yogurt contains thousands of good bacteria to keep you healthy from the inside out. The “live and active cultures” stimulate our immune system, help our digestive system to work more efficiently, and are fortified with vitamin d, which helps regulate our immune system and boost our defenses against disease. Most little ones enjoy yogurt because of its mildly sweet flavor but if you have a child who is averse to foods with a runnier consistency, you can use yogurt as a smoothie base and blend it with fruits and veggies to make a delicious drinkable and nutritious snack for your baby. AGE 6-8 MONTHS +
Blueberries contain Flavonoids, antioxidants that can repair damaged cells and boost your immune system. They are also rich in vitamins and nutrients including vitamins C and A, potassium, fiber and manganese, an essential nutrient found commonly in nuts and legumes. Little ones tend to like blueberries because it’s a chance to flex their fine motor skills and trying to pick them up is just as fun as eating them. They also blend well into any smoothie. AGE 7 MONTHS +
Green Tea: Green tea is loaded with caffeine, so this one is definitely not for kids. But for grown ups, green tea is somewhat of a superfood. The caffeine boost is a welcome effect for most grown ups but it’s levels of epigallocatechin gallate, or EGCG, a powerful antioxidant shown to boost immune health. Green tea also contains high levels of L-Theanine, an amino acid that may raise production of germ fighting compounds in your body’s T-cells. ADULTS ONLY
Cruciferous Vegetable: These include cabbage, broccoli, colliflower, kale, brussel sprouts, bok choy, radishes, arugula, collards and watercress: Rich in vitamins and minerals like folate and vitamin K, darker varieties are also rich in vitamins A and C. They’re also packed full of phytonutrients, plant based compounds that benefit our bodies in a number of ways, most notably by acting as anti-inflammatories and reducing our risk for cancer and heart disease. Little ones enjoy cruciferous vegetables the most when they’re cooked a bit and seasoned with aromatic spices like garlic, onion or turmeric, all of which provide their own health benefits. AGE 10 MONTHS +
Mushrooms: They’re usually not popular with kids but adults love them and mushrooms are packed full of nutrients that help keep us strong and healthy. Cooked properly, the varieties that are not poisonous are packed with B vitamins, potassium, copper, antioxidants and beta glucan, a soluble fiber linked to lowering cholesterol and supporting heart health. AGE 12 MONTHS +
Sunflower seeds: This may be a surprising one for most people but sunflower seeds are actually packed with nutrients including phosphorus, magnesium and vitamins B-6 and E, a powerful antioxidant responsible for regulating our immune system. AGE 24 MONTHS +
Keep Blooming 